Hamster Wheel or Merry-go-round?
Do you ever feel like you are on a hamster wheel? The same thing time and time again. Monotony can be a dangerous thing to the newly sober. We move from making the same drunken mistakes – ridiculous hights to unbearable lows to what? Endless days and nights of the same thing. A flat line of life with nothing to look forward to and nothing to take the edge off?
This is what I thought when I first became alcohol free. What would I do? Sleep, work, eat, repeat. Over and over again. I was so wrong! My life is not a hamster wheel, it’s a merry-go-round and I love it. Like being at the fair, I see the world as place full of bright colours and happiness. There is now so much to do because I am not just alcohol free. I am hangover-free and financially free (more than I was). I have the freedom of more time and more choices.
I have learned to embrace the changes sobriety has given me and I have found a new lust for life that I didn’t have before. I feel like someone cleaned the lenses of my glasses and the world is sharper, brighter, and more in focus than ever before.
And no, it is not always like that. Some days are still shit and sometimes I crawl into a deep dark hole. Those days a few and far between but they are hard, there is no denying that. But when they are, I stay put, dig deep and I do not drink my way through it. I let it wash over me, knowing that it is temporary.
When I am ready, I go right back to the fairground, get back on the merry-go-round and ride it with joy and gratitude.