Square Peg Round Hole
That is how I describe myself. I have always been a little bit of not quite the right fit. For most of my life, I have hated it. Feeling uncomfortable in almost any situation. I would look at other people and think they seem so at ease, so confident, they fit in so well.
Since removing alcohol from my life, I have taken more time to understand my fellow humans and now I realise that to some degree we are all square pegs. There will always be a situation or an occasion where we don’t feel comfortable. Very few of us breeze through life feeling super at ease and for many, drinking will take the edge off that feeling. That was me.
I have moved from a really small village where I knew lots of people and they knew me and where I felt comfortable with my surroundings. I have relocated to a much larger town (Bournemouth), to be by the sea. I know hardly anyone here and I am shit scared because I need to find a new tribe. I have also started a new business and finally I understand that I, for whatever reason, am deliberately making myself a square peg. Maybe I just like to feel the fear. I think it is what keeps me motivated.
I won’t be using alcohol as a crutch to see me through though. Oh no, I am just going to have to put my big girl pants on, put my shoulders back and stride into my new life (like I know what I’m doing). What is it they say? Act as if, until you are.