Very rarely now do I ever feel like a drink. I know the fantastic benefits of being sober and staying that way. It isn’t always that easy though. Triggers can come from nowhere and when you are least expecting them. Anyone that has experienced any kind of trauma, a great loss or spiralled through grief will know that we can be overwhelmed with no given warning and no way of stopping the patterns of thoughts that enter the mind as the trigger takes hold.
Music provides multiple triggers for me and although my son died four years ago, I am very careful what I choose to listen to as I know how much it hurts when I hear particulars songs that remind me of certain times and places. I know if I listen then it will invoke feelings that I am not always ready to deal with. There is a big difference between managing your emotions and inviting them to either control or rule who you are.
I do everything I can to ensure that I protect the life I have now chosen for myself. I do not put myself in physical places or mental spaces where I may put all the good work I have done at risk. It would be like standing in front of a speeding car and expecting not to get hit. And no, it’s not that simple every day. I am, the same as all of us, a work in progress.